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HomeCrimeMy YAHOO-YAHOO Story (true Life Story) 1

My YAHOO-YAHOO Story (true Life Story) 1

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Just after my National diploma, I got a factory job, I had to save enough so I could go back for my Hnd.
Pay was eighteen thousand 8-8. I worked for 3 months and this Indian guy tried to assault me because I
didn’t add ‘Sir’ to the ‘good morning’ I said to him. This werey slapped me twice in quick succession EMI
werey, I slapped him back twice just as he did me. Before people separated us I showed him the Mike Tyson in me.. Before I know, police don show.. That’s when my Indian guy dealt with me.. He kept giving
our hungry officers money so they’d keep me in custody.
Lass lass Sha I commot for prison and the real hustle began

So, after the bust up that supped at my job, I had to find a new gig. I thought about home, (I squatted
with my dude who lived at ikotun) I couldn’t feed myself. Me and my dude even though we lived
together, we used the ‘all man for himself regime’ so I was without a job and i was completely broke.
Home was appealing to me, i spoke with my Mom and she even said she’d send me money to bring
myself home and I almost gave in because I knew if I moved back with Mom, I won’t have any food
problems. So yeah, I was gonna go home but I’d tell my dude first. So he came back from work that
night, and surprisingly asked if had eaten and we breezed out of the house after I told him I have had
anything.
We got to this indomie joint and he placed orders for myself and himself so we waited and while we
waited for the food, I told him what I was up to and blah blah. While I spoke, he didn’t say a word and he
was about to talk when the abami aboki served us our noodles so he said we should eat We’d talk right
after.

As soon s we ate and paid, we still sat at the joint …
MY DUDE
My dude grew up in the village, came to Lagos to hustle through his uncle who promised to help him to
learn a trade. On getting to Lagos, his uncle switched up on him by putting him on a job where he takes
all the pay for himself. Hid uncle didn’t have a wife and no kids but tragically he died in an accident while
returning from a party so after his uncle’s burial, my dude took over his room and continued to pay the
rent and that’s where I’m currently squatting.
He spoke up and said “Dammy, why you Wan go house? Wetin you Wan go do”… I then explained to him
that since I had no job and I didn’t get call backs from the other places I applied to and coupled with the
fact that I used up all the small change I managed to save up from my Small salary, I just cannot cope.
But It was only for a while I’d be back.
“Dammy you be juu, you wan go hide under your mama, but collect my advice, stay for jungle make you
face am. Omo ase Loma lole”
So he spoke further
“dammy wait self, shebi you Sabi use computer? Try yahoo na, you no dey see all this small pikin dey ball
like water?”
I was still thinking hard about the things he said and the yahoo part when he suggested we head to our
weed joint so “we go reason wella” like he suggested. But while we trekked, I had so many questions, so
many thoughts running back and forth in my head.

We got to the weed joint, my guy paid for four Arizona sachets, and he gave me two. We picked our
corner and we sat down with the other guys who were either puffing a joint or rolling one. Me and my
guy, we rolled up and while we both puffed, my mind drifted into thoughts..
**Yahoo yahoo? Ehn wait, even if I wan learn yahoo, who I Sabi? If I even Sabi pesin, how I go take see
money buy lappy and phone?**
Out of the blues, my dude slapped me out of my thoughts and just like he had been in my head, he said
“no worry, me and you we be omo Iya, see ehn, my boda die leave one money, na like 150k and na
business I wan take am do before.. But no worry, I know say you no fit chenk me Sha. I go give you the
money make I buy lappy for you..
So my guy went and bought one hp pavilion laptop, and one HTC android phone for me.. Now the
problem after that was who would show me the way

Segun (Cairo)
But before Segun traveled, we were roomies in our ND days. We met on the day I resumed to school as
a fresher. I had gone to campus to get my medical form, then at Mapoly (Ojere Campus) as soon as you
resume to school as a fresher, you’d need to go to campus then hit the school clinic for your medical
form. So we met and we just clicked then he told me he was looking for accommodation and he had the money at hand. I explained my plight of how I managed to get just about 10k after I paid acceptance and
stuff. But he told me not to bulge we exchanged numbers that day and a week later he found a place,
paid and ask me to move in with him.
But who was going to teach me, for a week, all I could do on the laptop my dude bought for me was
movies, music, winning eleven.. My dude understood why, we were both at a loss..
Segun liked money, I’d say he loved money and at every point, he always reffrence Dangote (Segun lol ifyou’re on this site and you get to read this.. I love you bro). He took classes serious for a month and he
just stopped going totally. I was concerned. I’d get up to go but he won’t. But he’d go for tests and exams
because despite not going to classes, somehow he stayed connected.
We attended a birthday party in school, and there and right in our faces, and money rained. Kids were
buying drinks in caskets, and you’d have seen their car keys strapped to their belt.. We felt out of place,
we didn’t fit. We eventually left for home and I left home with a different Segun, what we saw at the
party, it challengged him, as a sharp guy that he was.. But me as the OTE wey I be i didn’t think too much of those kids.

Segun,
After our first semester exams, I traveled home but Segun didn’t. By the time I traveled back, my guy
had become something else. He’d go hang with some guys who lived in a flat somewhere around town
and he won’t return for days. If he did Come home, he’d sleep for awhile, freshen up, jump into clothes
and he’d go again. We thought we were matured and we could do what we want tho so yeah..Segun’s
Dad sent second semester school fee, my guy didn’t even gave it double thoughts he went and bought
one fine laptop and a 3g wifi modem.. A week after, his dad sent him money again for
handouts/textbook and food for a month, my dude went and brought a used generator

I didn’t know way to do, I knew he had ruined his future (so it thought lol) my guy no even send.. But
Sha, make I no lie, he shut me up with 2k and that 2k that time for my eye na big big big money. And
also, because he bought those things, he stayed at home much more than when he didn’t have a laptop.
While I dressed up for classes, he’d be typing away on his laptop. He slept during the day and he typed
away at night.. Segun saw me as OTE and I saw him as someone who was only waisting time after
dropping out on purpose.
Days crawled into each other, months ran into months.. Nothing, just nothing. But my guy was a soldier..
The hustle no dey show face but him no dey back down.. Second semester exams, Segun was Missing in
action.. He didn’t pay the fees anyway..my guy no even bother even after I asked him what he’d tell his
dad.. He’d always tell me to just shut up and mind my business..
Just as after my second semester exams, My mom sent money for me to travel home.. My guy had been
looking for how to buy data to browse.. No light was showing on that one. And as soon as I was ready to
go, I gave him five hundred naira from the one thousand naira my Mum sent. E just be like say he win
world cup.. Me Gan wey give am the money, I didn’t know what was about to unfold.

The morning after I traveled home for the second semester holidays, Segun, all his patience paid off..
The night before, he had written his client and had requested for $450. He had been nursing the oyinbo
for a while.. Segun didn’t know how much his client was worth and somehow one thing led to another
and his then Oyinbo was already in love.. Long story short, the Oyinbo sent my guy one thousand dollars
and that was the first cash out.
I didn’t know what’s up for a while, I was busy with side jobs and I didn’t really call him for a while too.
My side hustles were paying and I was saving hard in return and by the time the break was over, I had
saved enough to get my own space.
All the while, my guy had cashed out like mad. Yeah it started with one thousand dollars but the time I
traveled back to school, he had cashed out on his client 15thousand dollars in total.
I took a sharp turn and right there in front of me was a parked Camry Sports(parked right in front of my
villa but I didn’t read any meaning to it, I just wanted to go inside the house because the hot sun had
done shege to my skin plus, I sat in the bus uncomfortably for 4 hours.. I only had one mission, go
inside, see Segun, eat some food and sleep the rest of the day away.. But wonders didn’t end

I opened the door and i couldn’t believe it, bigger bed, air conditioning system, big led flat screen TV,
playstation, dstv, one very bad ass home theater.. Yes it was a one room ‘face me’ apartment but my guy
was (just starting).. I just couldn’t believe it.. Somehow I almost thought I was in the wrong apartment
that I had to recheck to be sure.. Segun wasn’t in, he apparently didn’t lock the door.
The car I saw outside, it didn’t make any sense until I opened the shelve that was just by the bed frame,
and there in the shelve was a Toyota camry car key. As soon as I saw the key, I had to leave the room
because I actually didn’t think Segun could buy a car or so so in my mind, I was in the wrong room..
(maybe he switched rooms or he did move out) those were the thoughts that ran though my mind while
I waited for him.
I’d find answers soon enough I said to me.
I sat outside, I waited for Segun, and when he did show up, I almost didn’t recognize him… My dude was
looking dope and all puffed up all of a sudden. He jumped down from the bike paid the bike man and i
knew somehow he must have topped him extra because the bike man was showering praises on my guy
and Iwas like (ehn ehn) Segun who would always argue with bike men, sometimes he had no money but
would still board a bike home then would escape through the street that connected ours but hrre was
my guy paying one of them extra.. Oga o wonders shall never end.

Another thing h at surprised me was, Segun was overly playful, before he joined those gang where he
learnt gee, he’d greet you by shaking you too hard.. He’d slap you so hard you’d almost get mad.. He was
mostly annoying but he wouldn’t care but here was my guy, after paying the bike man he threw me a
glance and forcefully muttered “how far” he didn’t even wait for me to respond before he headed inside.
Oga o

I’ve been an avid reader of Nairaland, and almost everyday, I saw how efcc arranged boys. Chai I was an
OTE ooo.. I was afraid alot, I was afraid for the new levels.. Segun didn’t change towards me though, he
was a bit proud I’d say but he kept me straight.. He took me to classes in his car, gave me pocket money,
bought me clothes, he made me fit in.. We attended birthdays at school and we could mix with the big
boys.
I was skipping classes at a slow rate, Segun was cashing out mad.. I wasn’t broke either. It was all fun until one Saturday, I opened one of the drawers on the TV shelf and right there was one wiered looking
calabash. It was partialy opened and it contained black soap laced with cowries..and some sponge and
another wierd looking bottle with alcoholic content..
That was it for me.. Yahoo plus kwa? No no no.. I started having bad thoughts.. See ehn, I came from a
strict Christian family and I have never seen anything like that.. I only saw stuffs like that in the movies.
But this was reality, I freaked out, I overreacted.. And that was how i used the money I saved up, paid for
an apartment and moved out… I felt safe away from Segun but I was going to regret it later.

Despite how it played out, me moving out to do my own thing, Segun didn’t even bulge.. no calls, no
texts, no check up.. I’m sure he didn’t plan for me to leave, but I guess moving out was okay by him
either ways. Segun gan sef no dull anything.. he moved out a month after I left.. before I knew, my guy
had rented a flat in town and he had about 5 boys who were living with him learning how to catch fish..
the same fish that Segun served me that I wouldn’t eat.
Segun got big, I got scared, I left and he progressed.. but I always thought, he’d meet his Waterloo
sooner because I felt he used voodoo and all the money miggt probably have repercussions and he’d
have to pay for his sins. So in the long run, I was better off..I told myself I jus need to focus on school
and be patient. Better days were riggt ahead (but so I thought).
I completed my national diploma, I thought that was the height of it, I was proud I had something to
show after the two years I had spent.. But life, Segun went and bought a Benz. I was looking for
industrial training placement, my guy was balling hard on his money.. Segun moved to Magodo Phase 2,
it was newer levels I should say but here I was, broke, jobless, squatting and currently looking for who to
teach me how to fish..

7am that morning, I came outside to brush, my dude had gone to work earlier because he was on the
morning shift..I had thoughs running through my mind..how I was gonna contact Segun who now lives in
Cairo.. Instagram, facebook.. but was he gonna read my message if i tried? He always saw me as an ote,
and even if he did read my message, I believe he’d never take it seriously (so we’re my thoughts and I
was gonna consider not contacting him.
I was done brushing, but I still remained outside. And from the distance, Amaka emerged… yepa! .. I
breezed inside, grabebd a shirt and I dashed after her because by the time I came outside she’d trekked
past our house. But honestly I regretted running after her because the kain washing wey she gimme no
he here.. small pikin wet dey reason me say ‘she nodey my league kwa? Enu tife..
Gbam, Amaka was the inspiration I needed,. I’d say it was that push that was missing in my emotions… I
got back to the house, grabbed my htc phone (the one my dude bought with the laptop) went on
Instagram dropped him a message and told him everything and what I wanted..I wanted to learn Yahoo..
I told him I was no longer an ote and I really needed help.
Dropped the message and I waited…

3 days after I dropped a message for Segun, I woke up to a message on my Instagram that read ”hafa na
Bobo mi, longest time.. omo I no even think say you go message me but +**************43 na my
number..hit me up on WhatsApp make we follow tarn Wella my gee”
It was Segun’s reply to the message I sent earlier.. I didn’t know what he was up to actually and I didn’t
know if he actually understood why I was reaching out to him.. but the fact that he did read my message
and actually got back to me was overwhelming.
I said that because if you saw the contents of Segun’s Instagram, iwo gan waki aje ku ikale.. women,
nightlife, expensive gadgets, he reffered to cars as toys (I knew he had mad passion for cars (and right
there on his Ig page, he flaunted expensive whips). You’d see his Ig page and you’d thought it belonged
to a celeb. I wanted all of that, it all started making sense to me, I wanted that life too. I wanted to be
“controlling things” like Segun used to say. I was no longer an ‘ote’ .. this was the only way and I was
ready to go all out for it.
Sharp sharp saved Segun’s number, hit him up on what’s app and we sent numerous voice messages back and forth. But if God be for you, who can be against? Segun was convinced enough from the voice
notes we exchanged and he said he was gonna get back to me as he needed to get something done and
he’d reach out to me as soon as he was done.
One fine morning like that, just about a month after I contacted my guy, he left me a voice note asking if
I had a Nigerian passport or if not I needed to let him know asap so he could arrange how to get one for
me. and just like the day I gave Segun five hundred naira for sub and I left for lag, I didn’t know what was
about to unfold for him, and just like I didn’t know, he didn’t know what would unfold for me..

No Nigerian passport, so it made the process a bit slow.. he funded me and I went about getting my
passport. (While I was waiting for my passport, me and Segun, we talked extensively..I told him, I didn’t
even think he’d take it that far, I was looking for who to teach me and I jus thought he’d link me up with
one of his numerous friends who will then teach me how to Hussle in Nigeria.. But nah, Segun said since
I was no longer an ‘ote’ he was ready to bring me over.. plus he said something that really gave my
moral a big boost.. so in his words
“Bobo mi, say I wan bring you come Cairo make I show you way, you fit come reach here now make you
be my Boss, because this game funny gan and e fit humble person anytime.. plus gan, all the money wey
man Don earn, you wey be fresher for street if e be say na you come get all the glory so no gawk am my
guy”
Those words they helped me believe alot, but Segun, Big gee (if you get to read this bro, I love you
again).
Passport came out, Segun directed me to one guy in Lagos, he helped me with the other processing and
Cairo was a plane away.. My other dude, (Ogbonna) guy that bought me the laptop and phone, he gave
me his blessings.. he kept telling me to go and ’kill em’ all’ on the day I was supposed to travel, my dude cried a sea.. I told him I’d come back for him. He wished me well, and that was okay for me but i had a
plane to catch and it’s goodbye Nigeria for awhile!

After all the protocol s at MMIA, I sha landed in Cairo, then this guy was already waiting for me. Segun
(being the boss he was) he sent one of his boys to come get me. So after all the greetings and loading up
the car the guy came with, we started the journey to Segun’s home and as I sat in the front seat of the
Benz the guy came with, I marveled, it was all different from how it used to be in Nigeria.. I had
composed myself as not to look around too much when I landed..but here I was, seated in a Benz, in
Cairo and the view alone was overwelming.. but because I was no longer an ’ote’, I quickly assured
myself. I was gonna make it there and notuing would stop me.
The drive took awhile and then we arrived, and like my guess was wild earlier, the guy that drove me to
Segun’s house from the airport was one of his boys.. surprisingly, all his boys about 4 of them, they had
mad benzes.
Segun was not in the house so i had time to mix with his boys andnit started from when the guy that
brought me asked if i smoked or not and after i said i would, then he introduced me to the other guys
who were very welcoming as well.. say something that really gave me goosebumps after i settled in was
their conversation.. these boys were discussing big money.. but wetin concern me, me sef i go make my
own.
I kept sipping my Hennessy and smoke while i waited for Segun..

I had settled in, i was waiting for Segun and after a while, the boys, all four of them decided they were
gonna go clubbing.. They asked if i was gonna come along, but i declined.. I told em I’d wait for Segun
and i used the opportunity to ask them for a phone so i could reach out to my folks.. They showed me a
land phone that sat just by the 3 seater cushion that was in the lounge and they all left. I so badly
wanted to make a phone call, but i wanted it to be private so i waited till they got dressed and left the
house.. One two three and four of them, they left in benz whips.. Mhen i told myself i need to farabale
gan if I’m gonna someday have more than enough.
I Redialed my dude’s number again for the 6th time and it just kept ringing.. Then i gave up trying and i
dialed my mum’s number. (mumsy kuku no know anything i never mentioned Cairo to anyone in my
family).. How i was gonna explain it to her i didn’t know but i knew i was gonna say something.. I placed
the call, she didn’t pick twice and i tried again the third time and my Aunt’s voice came on on the other
end. As yer the ‘hello’ she said, then i told her it was me and thay i was no longer in Nigeria.. On the
other end, my aunt was silent and when she spoke up, she said she didn’t believe it that it was 419 levels
she hung up!
I called ten times after that and my aunt or my mum wouldn’t pick my calls and i stopped. I called my
Dude again and he picked this time and we spoke, he was maaaaaad happy olorun, he kept asking me
questions and wouldn’t wait for me to answer before he jumped to the next one.. But I told him how
Cairo was different from Naija.. Even told him about Segun’s boys and their benzes and how they talked
about big big money.. My dude then told me of how he’d casted me for area.. “Amaka, koni dafun amaka
i no know as she take know say you don fly”. “but omo iya mi, no forget say me i still dey street oo, I know say you go cooolect plent raba aje”
So were my guys words. But i told him to help me call my mum, explain things to her and tell her I’d call
her again.

 

 

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