I am a final year student of a public University in Nigeria, I am the first child of a not so wealthy family but my parents are the best they try their possible best for their children to make sure we get the best they can afford and I appreciate that ALOT. My dad is a little hypertensive and I always try to put a smile on his face and make him proud with my grades.
I have a big problem as I type this and I take full responsibility for my situation, but believe me it all started with a good intention, trying to help lift some financial burden off my parent (or so I thought).
I have been depressed for a long time now and it has affected my performance in school and my social life.
I don’t want my parent to know about this because it would really break their heart most especially my dad because he feels all is well with me financially and he is always trying to meet my financial demands when he can.
It all started early last year when I started gambling big-time, I needed money for somethings in school then but my dad was a little bit handicapped financially then, he only had my school fees to give me, so I took part of the money and invested it into gambling, initially i had some gains then i started loosing, I lost all the money meant for my school fees i, I tried every betting trick out there to regain the money all to no avail, every penny coming into my bank account went straight to my betting accounts and before I know it i was chasing my losses and it was like i could not stop myself from betting with all my money.
My house rent came from home and it went straight to my bet9ja acc and I lost every penny, I am currently in a huge debt in school, currently owing several people.
Now I have a deadline to meet.
I really want to stop gambling but the question that always pulls me back in is “How do I pay up my debts” I am now a shadow of my former self, I can hardly eat, my course mates are all complaining about me because I am not motivated to attend class and do my assignment again (because they know i have not always been like this).
I ty as much as possible when am outside but I am dying slowly inside.
I pray everyday to God for help, but my situation seems to be getting worse.
Sometimes I drink garri for days, I stay hungry for days but I hadly let anybody know, I have few friends because am an introvert so I hadly go out.
I am very depressed now, cos of my financial problems. I have even been sucidal but the thought of how it would affect my parent quickly removed sucide from my mind.
Sometimes I just lock myself in the room and cry for what gambling have turned me into, I never saw myself coming this low, looking shabby, no clothes or gadget because I sold my phone late last year at a ridiculously blow price just to pay off a debt to avoid embarrassment.
Pls I need help, words or money. There are alot to say but I would save that for later.
Pls ignore my typos cos am not typing this from a clear state of mind.
